downhill

ive logged off the lappy minutes ago. Yet i lay awake in bed crying. These days after being in the world of kpop i feel all my sadness disappearing. Only replaced or chased away by humorous pranks and emcees. But now that i think abt it life is still the same. The sadness is not gone. Its just in hiding..

This year i lost a good friend. I have no idea where the real person is but ive missed having a listening ear. Ive always been one to go all out for a friend. Just like daddy. But in the end what happens? We get stepped on. I'll do anything for a good friend- im spontaeneous like that. Yet im hesitant to make them do the same for me. Inferiority complex you might say. A 21st bdae party wld be rad but i hate having to go thru all the hassle. Why go thru the hassle at all i say but you keep insisting. Tt thing tt costs so much- if its so hard to find ppl who care enuf then i guess we shldnt even bother getting it. Gawdd i'll get it on my own then. Ahhhh!

Why pretend when you know what they think?


I love people.



.. but do people love me?
I guess not.