confused

on the 25th when news broke out that the decision was final, tears ran down my cheeks. but they said that there'll be an all important conference to answer all the qns we have on the 27th. i told my quivering heart that there is still hope. maybe the hottests present cld help them see the light, the love, the support we all offer.

yesterday (26th feb) at cwp ..
logged on to twitter cuz my itchy heart was yearning for news, almost cried into my plate of food. pushed back my tears so that i wont be embarrased in front of the happy families and grps of frens eating out in banquet. but i remained sorrowful and morose the whole time. on the bus back home from woodlands i let my mp4 play continuously. the battery was in the red zone and was dying real soon. i kept thinking in my head: what if it died exactly on a 2pm song? what song will it be? will my mp4 really know my heart?
(cuz it happened before that it played what my heart wanted to hear when its actually on shuffle mode.. and by shuffle mode i meant all 2259 songs including english songs!-- rmbr when it played barae as i ran to catch FTI post Seould Out concert send-off?)

tears was coming down slowly as i thought back of the times jay tricked taec on his hidden camera ep in WB. how close he was with them. how much woo cried for him.
suddenly an all too familiar tune came on..
and i cried even more as wooyoung started the verse.
it was Only You.
then i thot back abt tt Win Win episode how woo explained abt the hardships they faced during debut period (for Only You promos).. oh gosh. what a song to choose ey dear mp4?
to think tt after i heard the heartbreaking news on 25th i actually skipped all the 2pm songs tt started playing? (cuz it was too painful to listen)..

..
now on the 27th.
conference with big shots and 2pm members are done.
masks are thrown.
attitudes and faces are revealed for the first time.
news from 2od rep making us confused cuz it was w/o clarification d/t hurried texting.
helpless fans stood on the other side of the screen poised for every new update.
we interpreted all that we heard our own way.
till now it is revealed..

taec sniggering.
woo trying to cover his tracks.
even khun the angel laughing at jay's dance crew video.
all of them denying accusations made.
saying tt they'll work harder.
saying tt they're not lying.

i dont want to believe all this.
especially since this came out from their own mouth.
but


if what they said is real
is this the 2pm that we all love, respect, support and look up to?
all i see are vengeful demons. sniggering at fans?
is that how low you have gone to? really?

i guess we asked for it.
what you want is what you get.
now i'll just have to see it for myself.

..
the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place
i havent made my decision on where i currently stand
till then.
this has been a hottest who has always supported jay.

one man saved six
the time came for six to save one..
but