trials!

You know it gets frustrating when everytime i get online, i feel like blogging but it the end after surfing facebook, checking thru emails, youtube surfing and doing all the mandatory internet stuff, i get tired and leave it for another day. gosh tt is sooo not a gd work ethic.

Speaking of work, it been getting a bit more hectic after an incident which happened and after tt there were many issues and complaints from other patient relatives- most of which were very unmotivating to all of us. Nowadays i go back to work with my heart beating fast thinking 'god. i wonder what will go wrong today? i pray everything goes as per normal'.

Sometimes i feel like sharing the incidents at work here but its all confidential so i wont. Last two nights were quite uneventful- except for my first night when one of my patients collapsed at 06.41AM (Morning shift starts at 7AM). I had to stay back to settle the death till 09.30AM (in which i was not familiar cuz so far tt was only the second death tt happened on my duty.) Sometimes i wonder why i took up this job, when all we get day by day are useless complaints one after the other. Please make everything stay okay and manageable for a long time.

I often hear stories abt my seniors (long time ago) when they cldnt cope at the beginning and they cried at work alot of times. For me, some times when i really feel like i cannot cope, i'll feel myself tearing but i never cld cry at work and let everyone else see me weep. Instead i'll trudge back home on tired legs and sleepy eyes, sit in front of the bedroom fan (on full blast) and cry. To make things worst, mummy adds salt to the wound by nagging abt house chores and stuff when she blardy hell knows i've been working 6 days straight and dont even have enough time to recuperate/ sleep. I cant bear to share my worries/ troubles from work with mummy cuz i dont wanna burden her. But i know tt if i do breakdown, she'll be there.

I have lots of support from my colleagues and superiors- even our sharptongued SNM. I know she's doing her best to help us and make the ward more managable but how i wish her words dont hurt so deep. gosh/


..
it's hard being all chirpy and bubbly nowadays but well i need a break every once in a while.
Global Warning Tour screening at the Arts House with Big Bang Singapore on 12th April was awesomest! Nothing beats screaming, spazzing and swooning over my favourite boys with other sgVIPS who'll love to do notheing else but tt on a Sunday morning. Its great meeting new ppl and new faces though tt meeting we didnt get to interact much. Tho i heard they'll be organising another meeting soon with more interaction. YAY
thanks very the khamsa to Fuzzy & Fai for accompanying me to the show. I wldnt be as hyper if you guys werent there to scream with me. hehe. i'm still basking in the fangirling atmosphere.
the HQ NII posters tt they printed out for us was great. i even got Mr Kwon Leadah as my first pick! How i wish i got everyone else too! Then my room will be even more uh.. love~
haha

*i'll let you in on a secret. ever since i started this love for the korean music scene, the dramas and the language in particular, i feel more peaceful. you know what with work being such a pain in the arse and me listening to emo and screamo (i love it to bits still), this new kpop wave has made me feel lighter and more positive. watching dance parodies and anticipating new MVs and albums, getting my hands on the merch, not to mention dressing up the part.. i love it!
im not sure how long this phase will last, but i hope it stays for a loooong time.
july trip to seoul and jeju.
awesome shit.
lets shop till we drop my friend((: